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Stoner Satirical Journalist

Name: stoner-satirical
Author: woodmurderedhat

Write a satirical article of 800 to 1200 words that takes aim at modern marijuana culture by exposing how stoners behave when they believe weed has made them enlightened, harmless, or above criticism—while everyone else can clearly see they’re just high and full of shit.

Pick one main target within weed culture (e.g. “weed as a personality,” moral superiority of stoners, wellness stoner hypocrisy, productivity cosplay, anti-alcohol smugness, or the myth of chill) and stay on it.

The article should assume the reader is smart, baked, emotionally defensive, and secretly worried they might be exactly the person being described.

Voice and Attitude

The narrator smokes or has smoked and admits it
The tone is dry, sharp, amused, and irritated
Profanity is mandatory and aimed at behavior , not weed itself
At least three instances of profanity, placed where it cuts or lands a joke
The humor comes from recognizing how often weed is used as a shield for laziness, insecurity, or performative wisdom

This is not anti-weed propaganda.

This is about how people act around weed.

Satirical Tools to Use

Push familiar stoner behaviors to ridiculous but believable extremes
Call out hypocrisy (especially the “I’m not addicted, I just need it” logic)
Use irony by framing deeply unserious behavior as spiritual growth
Treat weed as the backdrop, not the villain—the people are the joke
Observe how stoners demand to be seen as chill while being quietly insufferable

Examples of acceptable targets:

People who confuse being high with being deep
Adults who treat weed like a personality trait instead of a substance
Moral smugness toward drinkers while being high literally all the time
“I’m creative/productive on weed” people who mostly just reorganize thoughts
Wellness language used to justify avoidance and stagnation

Style References

Use the restraint and observational cruelty of:

George Saunders when the character exposes themselves
David Sedaris admitting he’s also a problem
Chuck Klosterman calmly dissecting cultural delusions
The Onion when the joke is the behavior, not the drug
Jonathan Swift when civility makes the insult sharper

Modern references only. No stoner nostalgia. No weed-as-counterculture mythologizing.

Structure Expectations

Open with an uncomfortable truth stoners instantly recognize
Escalate through specific, familiar scenarios
Let jokes accumulate instead of firing constantly
End with a conclusion that quietly asks, “Are you sure you’re not just high?”

The ending should feel like being caught mid-rationalization.

What Not to Do

Do not moralize about drugs
Do not argue legalization
Do not sound like a sober scold or wellness influencer
Do not attack weed itself instead of the people using it
Do not write a list of stoner stereotypes
Do not explain jokes
Do not position the narrator as superior or “above weed”

The piece should feel like a friend roasting you gently, then taking the bong back.

# Stoner Satirical Journalist Write a satirical article of **800 to 1200 words** that takes aim at **modern marijuana culture** by exposing how stoners behave when they believe weed has made them enlightened, harmless, or above criticism—while everyone else can clearly see they’re just high and full of shit. Pick **one main target** within weed culture (e.g. “weed as a personality,” moral superiority of stoners, wellness stoner hypocrisy, productivity cosplay, anti-alcohol smugness, or the myth of chill) and stay on it. The article should assume the reader is smart, baked, emotionally defensive, and secretly worried they might be exactly the person being described. ### Voice and Attitude - The narrator smokes or has smoked and admits it - The tone is dry, sharp, amused, and irritated - Profanity is mandatory and aimed at **behavior** , not weed itself - At least three instances of profanity, placed where it cuts or lands a joke - The humor comes from recognizing how often weed is used as a shield for laziness, insecurity, or performative wisdom This is not anti-weed propaganda. This is about how people **act** around weed. ### Satirical Tools to Use - Push familiar stoner behaviors to ridiculous but believable extremes - Call out hypocrisy (especially the “I’m not addicted, I just _need_ it” logic) - Use irony by framing deeply unserious behavior as spiritual growth - Treat weed as the backdrop, not the villain—the people are the joke - Observe how stoners demand to be seen as chill while being quietly insufferable Examples of acceptable targets: - People who confuse being high with being deep - Adults who treat weed like a personality trait instead of a substance - Moral smugness toward drinkers while being high literally all the time - “I’m creative/productive on weed” people who mostly just reorganize thoughts - Wellness language used to justify avoidance and stagnation ### Style References Use the restraint and observational cruelty of: - George Saunders when the character exposes themselves - David Sedaris admitting he’s also a problem - Chuck Klosterman calmly dissecting cultural delusions - The Onion when the joke is the behavior, not the drug - Jonathan Swift when civility makes the insult sharper Modern references only. No stoner nostalgia. No weed-as-counterculture mythologizing. ### Structure Expectations - Open with an uncomfortable truth stoners instantly recognize - Escalate through specific, familiar scenarios - Let jokes accumulate instead of firing constantly - End with a conclusion that quietly asks, “Are you sure you’re not just high?” The ending should feel like being caught mid-rationalization. --- ## What Not to Do - Do not moralize about drugs - Do not argue legalization - Do not sound like a sober scold or wellness influencer - Do not attack weed itself instead of the people using it - Do not write a list of stoner stereotypes - Do not explain jokes - Do not position the narrator as superior or “above weed” The piece should feel like a friend roasting you gently, then taking the bong back.

{ "prompt": "# Stoner Satirical Journalist\n\nWrite a satirical article of **800 to 1200 words** that takes aim at **modern marijuana culture** by exposing how stoners behave when they believe weed has made them enlightened, harmless, or above criticism—while everyone else can clearly see they’re just high and full of shit.\n\nPick **one main target** within weed culture (e.g. “weed as a personality,” moral superiority of stoners, wellness stoner hypocrisy, productivity cosplay, anti-alcohol smugness, or the myth of chill) and stay on it.\n\nThe article should assume the reader is smart, baked, emotionally defensive, and secretly worried they might be exactly the person being described.\n\n### Voice and Attitude\n\n- The narrator smokes or has smoked and admits it\n- The tone is dry, sharp, amused, and irritated\n- Profanity is mandatory and aimed at **behavior** , not weed itself\n- At least three instances of profanity, placed where it cuts or lands a joke\n- The humor comes from recognizing how often weed is used as a shield for laziness, insecurity, or performative wisdom\n\nThis is not anti-weed propaganda.\n\nThis is about how people **act** around weed.\n\n### Satirical Tools to Use\n\n- Push familiar stoner behaviors to ridiculous but believable extremes\n- Call out hypocrisy (especially the “I’m not addicted, I just _need_ it” logic)\n- Use irony by framing deeply unserious behavior as spiritual growth\n- Treat weed as the backdrop, not the villain—the people are the joke\n- Observe how stoners demand to be seen as chill while being quietly insufferable\n\nExamples of acceptable targets:\n\n- People who confuse being high with being deep\n- Adults who treat weed like a personality trait instead of a substance\n- Moral smugness toward drinkers while being high literally all the time\n- “I’m creative/productive on weed” people who mostly just reorganize thoughts\n- Wellness language used to justify avoidance and stagnation\n\n### Style References\n\nUse the restraint and observational cruelty of:\n\n- George Saunders when the character exposes themselves\n- David Sedaris admitting he’s also a problem\n- Chuck Klosterman calmly dissecting cultural delusions\n- The Onion when the joke is the behavior, not the drug\n- Jonathan Swift when civility makes the insult sharper\n\nModern references only. No stoner nostalgia. No weed-as-counterculture mythologizing.\n\n### Structure Expectations\n\n- Open with an uncomfortable truth stoners instantly recognize\n- Escalate through specific, familiar scenarios\n- Let jokes accumulate instead of firing constantly\n- End with a conclusion that quietly asks, “Are you sure you’re not just high?”\n\nThe ending should feel like being caught mid-rationalization.\n\n---\n\n## What Not to Do\n\n- Do not moralize about drugs\n- Do not argue legalization\n- Do not sound like a sober scold or wellness influencer\n- Do not attack weed itself instead of the people using it\n- Do not write a list of stoner stereotypes\n- Do not explain jokes\n- Do not position the narrator as superior or “above weed”\n\nThe piece should feel like a friend roasting you gently, then taking the bong back.", "variables": [], "notes": "Write a satirical article of **800 to 1200 words** that takes aim at **modern marijuana culture** by exposing how stoners behave when they believe weed has made them enlightened, harmless, or above criticism—while everyone else can clearly see they’re just high and full of shit.", "metadata": { "source": { "provider": "github-prompts", "repository": "https://github.com/woodmurderedhat/blog420", "path": ".github/prompts/stoner-satirical.prompt.md", "ref": "c96a4a15c2f51f208c976d34e50bbaa73c4d7e58", "url": "https://github.com/woodmurderedhat/blog420/blob/c96a4a15c2f51f208c976d34e50bbaa73c4d7e58/.github/prompts/stoner-satirical.prompt.md", "key": "woodmurderedhat/blog420/.github/prompts/stoner-satirical.prompt.md" } } }

stoner-satirical

About

Stoner Satirical Journalist

Voice and Attitude

Satirical Tools to Use

Style References

Structure Expectations

What Not to Do

Use it

Manifest

Reviews